No matter how many people surround you with love, prayers and support, YOU have to walk this road on your own, making your own choices about treatment and havng your own feelings about how to face this challenge. Many times it feels that no one can understand and no one grasps all the brevity but you. One of the common challenges for younger survivors is that Breast Cancer and indeed even chronic or fatal illnesses of most kinds have erroneously been tagged "old ladies diseases". But we are mothers, sisters and daughters...all ages...in need of a fresh perspective.
YOU CAN LOOK AND FEEL EMPOWERED! I have learned from experience through 9 years of fighting metastatic cancer.
Now 42, I found myself initially searching for things that were specific to ME and my experiences, at my age, in my social realm. I eventually found others like myself, or similar enough that we could not only share understanding but also resources to find the things we needed to get through as "normally" as possible. You may feel life will never be normal again. You can however find a NEW normal. And someday you will be so grateful you will never wish for the idea of normal. Normal is basically an illusion, or a way we compare ourselves to others around us. Only your life is real, normal is really not something we can measure. For me, empowerment has been learning to disregard forcing "normal" on myself, and accepting and embracing my individuality.
Affiliate Pages to follow:
In progress Nov. 2008
The Challenge with “Survivor Stories”-9 Years of Lessons Taught by Breast Cancer
The challenge with telling my/any survivor story…is that they never end. its easy to tell someone where it started, when it started, how did You find “the cancer”, how big was it. All the details that begin the necessary elements of a story. And yes I see my cancer as “necessary”, because if there is anything essential and constant in this world at all its “change”, and it’s the only consistent part of learning to survive. Through learning to survive I also learned to thrive, even in the most harrowing conditions. 9 years of actively fighting Breast Cancer is harrowing by the way, You cannot deny it-stopped counting the recurrences. Especially when You are young and You lose so much relation to Your “peers”. But I would not trade the lessons I have learned through learning to feel, laugh, grow and even need others. Knowledge is power and its too hard to give up once its gained. I find I just cannot go backward, no matter how much bliss I remember the ignorance sheltered with. (and I tried.) Someone shared their story with me, and now through attempting to do the same, I get the most amazing sense of purpose and value, and I feel the most amazing kinship and love-from one letter from another survivor telling me that my experience helped them weather the changes too. So this story…the story of Breast Cancer…never ends. it never finds a resting place. It just keeps moving like that fabric of the ribbon that represents the struggle.
So my name is Lauren. I was 34. My Ex husband found it. They said I was too young. I wasn’t. I was and am Stage 4 Metastatic. it has now reached my lung, liver and spine. I wrote a book about the value of humor in facing cancer treatment. (“Don’t Let the Cat Get Your Wig…and Other Things the Oncologist Never Told You.” Hey I though it was a rat at the bottom of the stairs-what can You do?) I spoke/speak at events. I write the occasional article or blog. I posed for some rather controversial photos. I made my voice heard. Its now years after my diagnosis and I just turned 42. And they still talk about how “young” I am. Will I ever be old enough for Breast cancer? is anyone? interestingly I’m in the process of a new/cutting edge treatment called “cyberknife” as the month of October approaches. I love the fall but October is hard. I was diagnosed in October and it feels as though for one month the volume gets turned up to ear splitting levels only to go back down to barely audible in November. But its necessary for change. Just when You think everyone knows the facts You find someone who doesn’t, and we all take one small step forward. One of my favorite movie quotes might say it ultimately better than me; “ Laughter through tears is one of my favorite emotions.” I love that I’ve learned to do that and help others do it too.
LB
